CHAPTERS OF GRATITUDE - Chapter 3

I had barely spent 4 days back from by trip to the beautiful Island of Mauritius, when I got into the next flight for my next trip, this time, heading to a familiar location, but with a different twist. I arrived the Quatro de Fevereiro Luanda International Airport on January 31st to spend some time with the love of my life; only this time, I had to head straight to the hotel (which she booked and paid for me), seeing that her mum was still at her place. [Fear and respect no gree me go stay her house when her mama dey there].

Anyways, this was to be for a day as we were to set off on the planned 3-days tour to N’dalatando – Malange – Pungo Andongo - Kalandula.

February 1, 2025, we commenced our 120km trip alongside some group who seemed to be employees of either the US mission in Angola or one of those international health care not for profit organizations. Anyways there was not much to think about there, I had snacked up, and was ready to go. Our first stop was for a coffee break at a village, under a massive tree (I forget the name now). Our driver was the real handy man,, setting up his camping table and quickly setting up coffee, tea and some snacks for the team. Bruno is his name, a stout, young-looking, friendly and very knowledgeable Angolan; he brought colour and life to the trip!

As we travelled, it was interesting to see the towns and villages outside of Luanda that reminded me so much of Nigeria, however there was something different here. In all of my trips to Luanda, I had never stopped to research the history of the country; it was however clear to me on this trip that there was so much about this place. A country so blessed, yet in such poverty, visible in the living conditions of some of the towns we passed through. We had now been on the road for quite some time now, with a few stretch stops here and there, until we came to our first official stop - Kilombo Botanical Gardens- this was a sight to behold. Like some of the imagery picked up along the way to this location, you could tell it was not well maintained from its gate. The inside however held so much beauty and power for lovers of plants and admirers of nature. This was to be our lunch site and was the first time the group had started to loosen up a bit and we had our first beer. We however made a quick stop at the statute of Queen Nzinga of Ndongo and Matamba.

  

The trip was off to a good start already, with our lunch now done and about 45minutes in the garden, absorbing and exploring its beauty, it was time to leave and make our way to our next stop for the day, the Kwanza River Rapids! A natural wonder where nature's artistry meets history. 

 

I particularly loved the water ceaseless dance over the weathered stone; while the sound from the crickets mixed with the flowing water made beautiful music on our way out. Not the easiest of climbs to the Rapids, but it was worth every step.

After the long road trip, it was time to have dinner at the Mbanza Marimba Malange Hotel. The rooms were not the most comfortable, but giving the location and the nature of this trip, I would say it was sufficient. Lights out!

Day 2 was planned to be more sight seeing, with less travel than the previous day.

We were done with breakfast at about 08:00hrs and set out for the days activity. Our first stop was the Orphanage home (for boys only), where preparation for Sunday Mass was already on-going. We had been informed about the facility, managed by the Catholic church with benefactors from Spain, Portugal and elsewhere, and very little support from the government (not surprising). The system, was very impressive, with living quarters segmented based on age. It was also interesting to see that the home catered for the boys until their first semester in the university, but also equipped them with skills to help those who would rather go straight into the labour market. I was truly impressed; from their farm to the workshop, everything they needed to eat and stay healthy, was on site.

 

As we left the orphanage, you could sense the excitement building, but we needed to make a two and a half hours drive to our next stop, the Kalandula Falls! This for me was the dwelling place of God and his angels, and easily could be where covenants between God and men took place.  

The thunderous roar of the water, slipping off the cliff with the beautiful landscape and the visible rainbow was surreal! We tried to get to the bottom of the fall, our driver, Bruno, was every ready to impress and make the trip worth our while. I enjoyed the ride down to the bottom of the fall and the many viewing points gave different perspective to this mysterious work of nature. This was indeed pure beauty! We hurried for lunch over-seeing the waterfall and left for our next stop, which gave even more breathtaking views of the Falls and the surrounding areas.

 

It was time to head back to the hotel and prepare for our journey back to Luanda.

Day 3 started off similar to the previous day, except that we needed to wake up much earlier for breakfast, get our things into the truck and head out before 07:15hrs. We had one more stop to make before embarking on the 6+ hours drive back, but we could not have come all this way and not make a stop at Pedras Negras (Black Rocks Site). 

The vast, rugged, and unapologetically raw landscape was breathe taking. I particularly enjoyed the journey to the top of one of the mountains which gave a view of the dam and the village, with views of rocks with very striking features. Seeing the footprint of Queen Nzinga and her dog was less than what I expected though. In hindsight, she would have actually been big for her time. One more stop for lunch and the drive back to Luanda.

The drive back was particularly exhausting, with practically everyone (including Bruno), tired from the trip and nodding every now and again. Thankfully we got back safe and in one piece, with memories to live for many years to come. It was beautiful!

This was not the end of my trip to Luanda though, I had nine more days to spend before my departure. With the holidays over and back to regular work schedules, most of my days were spent reading, attending to work matters when I could, dinner eat outs, visit to the beach and time with my loved ones.

It was hard to say goodbye, especially because, yet again, I would have to leave before February 14th, I was not going to take any chances with deportation from Angola.

Coming back to Lagos was not as I had planned. The events that followed my return were not the most pleasant, but still one that I have taking a lot of learnings from; I will explain. While on this trip, I kept having this feeling about my kids, I had tried to speak with them more than 4 times and never had the chance to, as their mum would not pick the phone or respond to my messages. All this while, I kept telling and reassuring friends and family who asked, that everything was okay and I was in touch. This had been going on for over three weeks and on my return to Lagos, we had planned for "The Gathering" at Alvin's'. 

It was February 15, 2025, we had agreed time and in my usual manner, I appeared on time and was the first one there. I got re-introduced to his son (Brian) in a way that made me recall how I had envisioned my life with my family, even before I got married. The rest of the crew had started coming, food was served, alongside drinks and the main event (the Ram). I had barely started getting into the groove of things when things switched in my head and I hurriedly stormed out of the place, got into my car and even attempted to run down Ikeh. There was nothing anyone could do to stop me or hold me down, and so I drove off, got home and laid on my couch. I tried to sleep, but my mind kept racing, I was too tied to sleep, I tried calling to speak with the kids again, and her phone was switched off. I had promised my mum I was going to see her on Sunday February 16, and so I mustered as much energy as I could, picked myself up from the couch, got into the bathroom, took a bath and went to church. Immediately after mass, I headed to my mum's place and knowing I was not too strong, and might be found out and would need to explain what was going on, I came up with a convenient story and left her place. Went back home and just laid down on the couch. By this time, I had spoken to the love of my life and had to call Ikeh, while sending a note of apology to all the guys who were present and experienced the drama the day before.

I still was not able to sleep and had planned to hit the gym on Monday, February 16, 2025. At this point, I was acting like everything was fine and was just going on and about, business as usual. I woke up Monday morning and realized I did not have the strength to go to the gym (good decision), I got dressed and went straight to church for morning mass and then to the office. I had been battling with a nail injury that had refused to fall out, so I decided to get it checked at the clinic at the office. The events that followed my visit to the clinic, opened my eyes to some impending dangers in my life! My blood pressure reading was 170/130, the nurse was in shock. She held me done, insisted that I was not going to leave, gave me a pill to sleep and to bring down the blood pressure, and took me in to the bed to sleep. Still I could not sleep, but I laid down for about two and a half hours, after which I got up, asked that I leave so I could go get checked at the hospital. I quickly packed my laptops and went straight to the hospital (Hartwell Hospital, Victoria Island).

When they took my blood pressure reading this time, it was 167/110. I had my time with the doctor and he prescribed some medication and asked that I come back the next day to run some test. It was after the test result came back, that I realized some abnormal scores, one of which was a higher than normal Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) Test result. Seeing that my PSA moved from 0.3 in 2023, to 4.0 in 2024 and then 4.9 in Feb 2025, was enough to get the doctor worried and made him refer me to the urologist. During my session with the urologist I tried to be as cheerful and inquisitive as I could; even though I had searched the meaning of my test results before the session and I knew it was not all good news. The urologist (Dr. Alaba) tried to be as positive as he could, but having told him about my dad and how we lost him to prostate cancer, I could see somethin in him change a bit. It was at this point he began to reassure me that it was not certain and listed the names of notable Nigerians who have been living with prostate cancer or had been healed from it (this was clearly not a good sign). Long story short, I was referred for a Multi Parametric Prostate MRI scan, and the result still not conclusive. Now I am needing to prepare for a Transrectal Ultrasound Guided Prostate Biopsy. In having to do this, I have had to re-run some blood test and I must say, the scores are looking better, with a negative HIV 1& 2 screen, healthy liver and good blood count.

Since having to start the year on an adventure, it has been that way till now, and I would say, I am loving every discovery and taking the positive stance on things. My finger nails which refused to fall off, has made me realize the pending danger, that could have been worse, so for that, I am grateful. I have had time to reflect and taking a calmer and more positive approach to things. My commitment levels and relationship with my creator is better, I sleep better, blood pressure under control (still with meds, but I know it would be same without it); in general, it has been a good start, good news, positive vibes and just general gratitude!

CHAPTERS OF GRATITUDE - Chapter 2

The start of 2025 reminds me so much like that of 2023; I began the year on a high, doing things that I loved to do, not necessarily waiting for people to tag along. Like I had earlier mentioned, I finally got to making a vision board, detailed (even if I say so myself) and that has really been my compass so far.

In keeping with this vision, I embarked on a trip (by myself), to the beautiful Island of Mauritius; and yes it is indeed a beautiful place. I had not done any research about the Island prior to my visit and it seemed impromptu, however, I had planned to go on vacation beginning of the year, to help me fully recharge for 2025 and my destination was supposed to be Angola; however, circumstances did not allow for that, hence the plan B.

But before I go into the details of the first trip(s) of the year, I should say that I have also kept through to other parts of the vision, some of which include, my medical checks (eye and oral), looking forward to the full medical and God be on my side, I come out with a clean bill. Next phase of course would be to stay consistent and deliberate with the choices I continue to make.

Now to the trips, like I had mentioned, I made a quick, seemingly impromptu trip to the Island of Mauritius (23rd January - 27th January). While this is considered an East African country, it was interesting to see that the people themselves do not actually see themselves as Africans, instead as Islanders. Another shocking revelation to me was that this was a true no-mans-land in every sense of it, evident in the blend of people and tribes; from Indians (who are the majority), to the French (major colonizers), East & West African migrants and people from all parts of the world. 

The immigration staff at the booth was very helpful, I spent less than 5 minutes with him, and he stamped my Visa on arrival (VOA) at no cost! apparently unlike other countries where you need to pay for the Visa, in Mauritius, this is not the case. Just after I picked up my luggage was when the real journey started. The second set of immigration officers asked me to step aside and went through my luggage meticulously like I have never experienced before. I was vexed (did not show it), but plastered a smile on my face and just watched and answered all the questions they had; finally I was let go and connected with my driver, then the journey began to Salt of Palmar.

At this time, it was around 3:50AM, I had spent the last 11 hours in transit to this beautiful Island (still unbeknownst to me at the time), and was finally on my way to the hotel with the sole intent to rest before the plans for the tour commences the next day. The first few minutes seemed okay, but I quickly realized that the roads were narrow, winding and dark; to make matters worse, the driver looked sleepy. So here I was, in a strange land, all by myself with a sleepy Indian-origin driver, driving through some narrow-dark road for about an hour; I would be honest, my heart was in my mouth all through the ride, till I finally got there; and I was not disappointed.

 

I was quickly checked into my room and it was interesting. one of the things that struck me first was that there was no TV in the room, instead, there was a small radio box, playing some smooth urban music, there was also a book shelf, fresh tea and kettle and very comfortable bed. I quickly had a shower, jumped into bed and slept off.

When I woke up, I took a long walk on the beach to savor the beauty of my surrounding, did some reading and settled in for dinner, had a decent meal and went off to bed again to commence my adventure the next day.

Day 2, 24th January, 2025: Catamaran Cruise Le Morne. My ride was just on time, 7AM, from the East of Mauritius, where my hotel is located. Once again, it was a long drive, this time inclusive of the traffic at certain points on the road, we got to the harbor point at about 09:05AM. I immediately settled in immediately, waiting for the paper works and by 9:30, I was on the Catamaran with strangers from Germany, Poland, China, South Korea and South Africa - all either as a couple or in a group- and my humble self. The three-man crew, all young Mauritian men, gave us the safety briefing, told us the journey and stops and set us sail. My first reach was a bottle of Phoenix Beer (The Famous Beer of Mauritius), while I got lost in the beauty of the Indian Ocean as we sailed away.

  

  

We had a few stops in the middle of nowhere, looked for the Dolphins (did not see any), went swimming and snorkeling, had some good food on board, then headed for the the small Island to spend some more time with nature on dry land, and then headed back to shore, after about 6 hours on water.

The drive back to the hotel was slightly easier, I got to the hotel about 7:45PM and went in for dinner and to bed.

Day 3, 25th January, 2025: The day started off slower than Day 2, activity was not planned to be as intense either, so we set off from the hotel by 8:45AM; destination? South Tour with Rhumerie de Chamarel. Let mestart with my tour guide, Patrick, an interesting 60 years old Mauritian (Indian descent), a grand father, with three grown up children, the last of which now lives with her boyfriend (he is still adjusting to this way of life). I think we struck it off almost immediately, and as we drove out of the Coastal Road in Belle Mare, he told me of the religion, tradition, history and all every tourists would like to know. Our first stop, a Catholic church (I cannot remember the name now), which holds the relics of Pope St. John II; it was at this point I confirmed my tour guide was a catholic and he confirmed I was as well; and we got talking as we drove along about the world order as it is now and the direction it was tending to.

We had a drive across the Island, went to one of the view points in the Island, the Hindu shrine, where I ate some local Indian food (a good idea it turned out to be), the dam and some historic sites on the Island. Our last stop was the Rhumerie de Chamarel distillery, where I went through the the Rum making process, did some tasking and purchased some of the best made Rum. The distillery was however not operational at this visit as this was the planting season. I must say, there is some reach history about the ownership of lands here and reminds me of the same story of betrayal, greed, exploitation and lack of vision across Africa from both its leaders and its people.

At the end of the about 8 hours tour, I arrived back at the hotel, get some good meal and dead off to bed.

  

  

Day 4, 26th January, 2025: After three exciting days on the Island, it was time for me to commence my journey back home; but not before I had an hour massage at the hotel, one last bottle of Phoenix beer and some large prawns. By 14:45hrs, I was ready to start my one hour journey from the Salt of Palmar to the Airport, which I must say, is truly of international standard, or at least, better than anything we have in Nigeria. My driver, was quite the character, an interesting fellow, who was widely travelled, had practically worked in the most of Europe and America, but decided to settle in Mauritius simply because of the quite life, peace and beautiful scenery it offers. Clearance through the airport was fairly easy and in no time, I was onboard the Kenya Airways from Mauritius to Nairobi; and this is where it all got tricky. My layover in Nairobi was a long 9 hours, finally took-off from Nairobi to Lagos at about 08:30AM and arrived Nigeria 27th January, 2025 by11:45AM.

Now, in keeping with one of the items on my vision board, I immediately got on a cab, went to the office, picked up my car and went to the eye specialist hospital to see the Ophthalmologist! Successfully went though my tests, reviews were good, signed off on my new lenses and headed home.

The beginning of 2025 has indeed been off to an eventful start, with good fortunes, adventure and prospects for an even more amazing year. I look forward to the days ahead and the rest of the year; and I am optimistic that as I have once again hit the reset button in 2025, so shall it be and long lasting shall it remain!

CHAPTERS OF GRATITUDE - Chapter 1

It's been a while since I last set goals, my last set of goals expired when I turned 40, and set some confusion. Indeed, with no compass, be prepared to get lost! As hard as 2024 was, I am grateful to God, my love, family, my brothers and my friends for the support through the year; it really was like the beach with its waves; ups and downs, but we pulled through.

I made progress in my love life, having someone you can trust, work with and communicate with is the real deal! I spent more quality time with my loved ones, even though career did not advance that much, financially, I was better off. I skipped Sunday Masses a lot, but worked with my weekday Masses. Health-wise, I really cannot say I made that much progress, however, I made good round at the gym, and still grew a belly 🤣 Interestingly, I thought I had turned the curve in my divorce case in 2024, I started having good conversations with my kids and their mum, but when I said no to one item, things went south. I will dedicate a post on this when I can finally put the pieces together.

In summary, 2024 was a very good year, even though, I questioned my existence once again. I am eternally grateful to God, and all those who made the experience of the year what it was. Good, Bad, who knows? I am grateful to be alive to have seen the end of that chapter, and the beginning of a new one

DISCOVERING ME

SUMMARY

I am the child of the most high, born of flesh, immersed in His spirit. His divinity surrounds me. The gospel that I shall preach is the gospel of my life, acting out only what I have been instructed to; controlled no longer by time and chance. My foundation is in Him!

Planet = MARS

Element = Fire

Strengths

Courageous, determined, confident, energetic, enthusiastic, optimistic, honest, passionate.

Weakness

Impatient, moody, short-tempered, impulsive, aggressive, turbulent.

Likes

Comfortable clothes, taking on leadership roles, physical challenge, individual sport

Dislikes

Inactivity, delays, work that does not use one's talent.

Other Info

Continuously looking for dynamic, speed and competition; always being first in everything, from work to social gathering. It is in my nature to take action, sometimes before properly thinking about it.

I have good organizational skills, which gives me the ability to finish several things at once (often before taking a break). I like to fight for my goals, I embrace togetherness and teamwork. I am brave and rarely afraid of trial and risk. I am ready to be the hero of the day, fly away and carry many endangered, powerless people on my back.

Purpose

I have a task to share my position, power, gold or physical strength with others willingly. Where this is not done, my energy stops its natural flow, fear takes over and the process of giving and receiving becomes out of balance.

On Relationship (Love & Sex0

When I fall in love, I usually would express my feelings to the person, without giving it considerable thought. I tend to shower the loved one with affection, sometimes in excess, forgetting to check the information I get in return.

On Family & Friends

My social life is typically always moving, warm and filled with new encounters. I am usually tolerant of people, I am respectful of different personalities and the openness they can provoke with simple presence. My circle of friends is a wide range of strange individuals, mostly in order for me to feel like I have enough different views on personal matters I don't know how to resolve. I would cut connections and acquittances short for dishonesty and unclear intentions. Long-term friendships will come with those who are energetic and brave to share their insides at anytime.

At a young age, I was clear in my head how I wanted to live my life, having been separated from my family when I was just a little over 10 years old. I was hard to control and angered by many restrictions. I take on family obligations whenever that comes up, hardly refusing more work, as if to show that my pool of energy is infinite.

Career & Money

The working environment is the perfect place for my ambition and creativity to show, as I fight to be as good as possible. My speed of mind and vast energy, keeps me one step ahead of everyone else. All I need to do to succeed is to follow my chosen path and not give up on professional plans, guided away by emotions. When faced with a challenge, I would quickly assess the situation and come up with a solution. Competition does not bother me, instead it encourages me to shine even brighter. On a bad day, I can be self centered, arrogant and stubborn, but i am also courageous, adventurous and passionate.

THE BEGINNING

 NEW LEADERSHIP VISION

Most Important Episodes

1. The Eye Mark (1987??): The first encounter, though not entirely clear, when the grace became real. The definition of Purpose and Strength. The first reclaiming moment and connection with faith, hope and God.

2. 1997: Official taste of failure, the invisible veil was broken, a call to action, quest for the afterlife, lose of fear, then search for glory, hard work, care and carelessness of life, first real shot at understanding life and purpose; first real known encounter with God; fear of failure; zeal for success; beginning of a philosophical life. Disappointments then hope; weakness birth strength.

3. 2007: Near victory, spotlight, hatred for spotlight desire for success. The beam, creating a balance, lost opportunity? Regaining self belief, trust in the unseen, faith, destiny and God. Confidence booster, nothing is impossible!

4. 2021: Confusion! Strength bows to meekness, Confronted unknown fear, desire and passion at ends width. Knowledge & belief opposed by reality. Regret felt for the first time, questions decisions feel like a prisoner.

5. 2014: Conformed to the standards of the world and people, realization and eventual appreciation of the divine. A fall from grace with all to lose. Hunger for the afterlife, shame and embarrassment, a period and feeling of weakness give birth to ideas and a new sense of direction and purpose.

VISION STATEMENT

To constantly live a life of grace, using lessons of past failures to dispel fear and encourage the search and quest for glory.

MISSION STATEMENT

To achieve my vision in life and the purpose of God through hard work, care, humility and the living of the true philosophies of the unseen God, while leading men to a new sense of direction and the fulfilment of their ultimate purpose.

THE END BEGINS

 There is good and evil in everyone. As a matter of fact, both exist at the same time, in the same proportion at birth. As hard as that may be hard to believe and comprehend, a simple explanation is your life. If good and evil are separate and outside of humans, why do we feel under pressure to do right; why do we feel under pressure to do good? If good were natural and evil outside of us, we shouldn't struggle to do good. What I have come to understand is that those who seem to do good naturally (for which I do not believe there is any such thing), can be seen to have just perfected the act.

We all have to make the conscious effort and decide to be good or do evil; but the fact that evil feels more natural to us than good ideas, points to the strength in doing wrong and/or what we truly are. Who are we then? What role does God have to play in all of this? What is the essence of our lives and for what do we get to see each day? Yes, we all have our purpose, and I strongly believe, we would and can never rest until that purpose is achieved.

I also believe that in spite of the seeming strength of evil, good is of a superior quality and requires higher & greater strength to perform. The fact that the world is filled with more evil than good is not a sign or a pointer to the fact that evil is stronger, rather it shows how weak, lazy and indiscipline we are, yet tells us that there are a lot of opportunity and room to grow. Our choices and decisions will remain in the past, but also have the power to direct the future.

I reflect now on my past decisions, things I have done and either regretted immediately or do so now, and I know and indeed I am grateful that I have a conscious that still speaks to me, and that I hear and can respond to. I once said my conscious is a gift and a curse, but writing now, I see t more as a gift.

We live in a fast paced, technological world, where some believe life is earned or a right. I haven't written in over a year, but feel a sense of responsibility to do so now. Right or wrong, I chose not to judge myself, or any other person for that matter, I only seek to live my life right and end this journey once and for all, that I may return. This is not an end, now there is no end, only writings, not so that I feel, look or act wise (I pray that is never my lot), but to commence the beginning of my end and as much as possible, do so with sanity. I may never come back to this, frankly I find the old writings, but write I shall, just as depart I must.

21/08/2016; 16:45

Should we stop trying to control our lives and live them, since everything that happens to us is a result of what we are connected to; what we call "divine intervention" is merely connections we were not aware of (Morgan Freeman). Birds don't fly, they are flown, fish don't swim, they are carried. Everything is connected, everything has a reason for why they are created.

21/08/2016; 17:05

MY DAYS

 WHEN I WAS YOUNG

Growing up as a child, I did not like many things. I liked to eat, I was not into gamming, but I loved playing football. I liked to ack, loved playing the Priest character, and also loved to sing.

Physically, I was strong, you would hardly catch me cry, was not afraid of seeing blood and just wanted to be strong. I would pump my chest whenever I had the opportunity to defend someone else who was bullied, cos I loved to stand up for those who were either afraid to do so, or just could not defend themselves.

THE CHALLENGE

As I recall, my challenges started when I became separated from my family, when I went to boarding school. I was probably just 10 years old or so, this was in 1992. As a coping mechanism, there was always someone who looked like someone I knew back home and that really got me connected back to home. I really did not like the school, I was bullied a lot and not long after, my once good grades started to head south. I recall pleading with my parents to take me out of the school; pleas that obviously fell on deaf ears. When my grades kept going worse, my dad washed his hands off my studies and not long after, I had to leave the school and came back home. The damage was done already at that time, I hated school and whatever it represented. This was my first traumatic experience and it was in these days I experienced what I now realized is called depression! I recall being ashamed and afraid of going outside, my love for the game was no longer there, I would lock myself inside the room, mostly because I feared I would be perceived weak and a failure.

I stopped making friends (not like I was big on this, cos in my neighborhood, you almost did not have a choice, we grew up as a community, but at this time, you had to select your click). Being locked indoors, i focused my time more around religion and reading, with particular interest in philosophy, trying to find a reason and meaning of life and to go on. I became angrier, but now more determined to turn my fortunes around and become successful. Put it this way, books and philosophy opened and broadened my mind! At this point I hated failure, I became secretive, stopped talking, was open to take more risk and became spontaneous.