THE END BEGINS

 There is good and evil in everyone. As a matter of fact, both exist at the same time, in the same proportion at birth. As hard as that may be hard to believe and comprehend, a simple explanation is your life. If good and evil are separate and outside of humans, why do we feel under pressure to do right; why do we feel under pressure to do good? If good were natural and evil outside of us, we shouldn't struggle to do good. What I have come to understand is that those who seem to do good naturally (for which I do not believe there is any such thing), can be seen to have just perfected the act.

We all have to make the conscious effort and decide to be good or do evil; but the fact that evil feels more natural to us than good ideas, points to the strength in doing wrong and/or what we truly are. Who are we then? What role does God have to play in all of this? What is the essence of our lives and for what do we get to see each day? Yes, we all have our purpose, and I strongly believe, we would and can never rest until that purpose is achieved.

I also believe that in spite of the seeming strength of evil, good is of a superior quality and requires higher & greater strength to perform. The fact that the world is filled with more evil than good is not a sign or a pointer to the fact that evil is stronger, rather it shows how weak, lazy and indiscipline we are, yet tells us that there are a lot of opportunity and room to grow. Our choices and decisions will remain in the past, but also have the power to direct the future.

I reflect now on my past decisions, things I have done and either regretted immediately or do so now, and I know and indeed I am grateful that I have a conscious that still speaks to me, and that I hear and can respond to. I once said my conscious is a gift and a curse, but writing now, I see t more as a gift.

We live in a fast paced, technological world, where some believe life is earned or a right. I haven't written in over a year, but feel a sense of responsibility to do so now. Right or wrong, I chose not to judge myself, or any other person for that matter, I only seek to live my life right and end this journey once and for all, that I may return. This is not an end, now there is no end, only writings, not so that I feel, look or act wise (I pray that is never my lot), but to commence the beginning of my end and as much as possible, do so with sanity. I may never come back to this, frankly I find the old writings, but write I shall, just as depart I must.

21/08/2016; 16:45

Should we stop trying to control our lives and live them, since everything that happens to us is a result of what we are connected to; what we call "divine intervention" is merely connections we were not aware of (Morgan Freeman). Birds don't fly, they are flown, fish don't swim, they are carried. Everything is connected, everything has a reason for why they are created.

21/08/2016; 17:05