MAD - The Story

I am going to tell a story. I can't say if it is personal, true or fiction; but I have chosen to do this series for as long as I can.
Let me first put things in perspective. He had spent 45% of his life as of 2017 (this is according to the biblical definition of how long humans are expected to live). He has seen things, experienced quite a few, and have had series of confusing, doubtful moments. By the standards of the society and I dare say, the times he lives in, he is young. He does not doubt that, but this does not invalidate what he has  seen or experienced.
Early in life, he decided his path (or so he thought). He was going to run the show, do things the way he wanted; it was a subconscious move, not like he knew what he was doing, he said he just had a strong feeling that he had been through this (life) before, and was given a second chance to right his wrongs from the first episode. He felt he submitted himself to the divine will, let the universe take charge of his life, he said he was determined to put in his best, and really let go of the rest. Yet he felt the urge, need to be ambitious, determined, and was very aware of all the blessings he had received, as well as his physical attributes; but purpose kept eluding him. Why? If he had been through this before, why is this, "the main reason for his return remains unclear", he says.
He resorted to the things he saw in the environment, perhaps the answer would come through, but no. He slept with dream, but "she always left him before he could awake and become conscious of their meeting and conversation" he says. That killed him all the more. So he went to the source again, "why am I here" he asked. Silence was the answer he got, so loud that his hearing was greatly affected.
So he began to think, go back to the very start, he just might have missed out something. Then it crossed his mind to ask Him if He felt he escaped, slipped out to the second episode without approval? Did he get here himself? If he did, there still has to be a reason (purpose), why then is this difficult, why is it that he still does not know? This has been the mental journey, and almost half way through the second episode, the confusion is still on. Now he is apprehensive, getting a bit uneasy, will there be a third trial? He tells me he does not wish that, but has come to the understanding that the purpose must be complete before the rest begins. Then it hit him. If he did slip out on his own, then he must go back with an excellent report, else he would be fucked. "What if He doesn't want me no more, am I dammed here? God forbid it" he says; "I know home, I have tasted it, it is implanted in my subconscious, it's the place I go to when dream comes to be, we walk the road to home, but she lets me off just before I see what the road looks like. I will press on, really, what other option do I have. Stay here I lose, if the job is not done; go home without a complete report and I still lose. There is the dilemma and where the journey starts."
He acknowledges he has made his fair share of wrong choices, many might have self corrected themselves; until he did something he probably was not ready for at the time, "I took in an inferior" he cries out. This was not to help, but at the time, he was blind to the fact. He really needed someone stronger, or at the very least, an equal. The only one he knew at the time was the Creator; but since "I felt like He had let me go, I thought it my duty to get one for myself" he tells. Little did he know that there was none on this plain, but by the time he realised this, he was neck deep already. Living by the rules of the king of this plain, eating of their foods and involving in the activities that gave them "joy" and pleasure.
The lesser one however saw someone stronger, near to their god in him and made all moves to be united, and united they became. "This being, empty in the things of my world, yet in need of the wisdom and knowledge of my kind, chose to get me to conform to their way" he says. All this while, he and his creator remained distant, in fact, the gap grew only wider. "I would think of Him and would swear I heard Him whisper something to me, but was never sure."
It was unclear to him at the time why humans felt the need to win, why was there so much competition with others? Made no sense to him, but he came to realise that this fuels them. Some of the ones he met who did not believe in this sought of competition said they also could not understand it, they say "they would never get into it, but why?" This is their world, what they do, why would they chose not to? Then it occurred to him; "they are from my world, but have been here longer than I have, maybe many more times than myself" he reveals, "so they have lost most of their true essence." Is his purpose then to lead them back? Would that please his maker and perhaps get him pardon and acceptance again?